I’m not sure if this is normal, and I don’t want to self-diagnose myself with things like ADHD or autism, but damn it I just can’t focus sometimes because this random background noise is just so damn distracting. Like I can’t do anything except bitch and complain while I waste my energy trying to forcefully take back my mindpower, but it’s hard. Where I live, there are so many potentially distracting background noises I feel like I’m being overstimulated and overwhelmed. Like motherfuckers shut the fuck up, I can’t follow a single damn thought in my mind.

You either hear the damn roosters crowing, or some dumbass revving up their car or motorbike going up and down my little road for the 45th time in a row, some guy trying to sell ice cream to little kids honking their fucking horn for the fiftieth time in a row, or then you hear the guy using the leafblower or lawnmower. Sometimes this just renders me until I am a retard who just sits and stares out the window unable to do anything. This reminds me of this tweet:

My whole adult life has been a search for quiet. I’ve had 3 different buildings soundproofed. I can continue working on something in a noisy place, but to start working on something I need quiet. https://t.co/dgcqmWQOZI

— Paul Graham (@paulg) May 21, 2023

And no, I’m nowhere close to Von Neuman with all his playing “extremely loud German march music.”

Sometimes I wonder if this background noise has influenced my taste in music, besides just general teenage angst. Can’t feel at ease unless I hear loud rock and roll in the background. I want to hear the screams that result from human suffering as we all pretend that everything is ok.

Anyway, besides yapping away, I’d like to tell the viewer that if you have the unfortunate circumstances to be born into a low socioeconomic class like me, in a place where it’s constantly loud and noisy and bustling with poor, uneducated fuckers who cause chaos, you only have a couple of options, really:

1. if you are good at something able to produce money, use it to make money and get out.
2. if you are not good at anything:

• 3. try to become good at something profitable, and then make money and get out.
• 4. give up and kill yourself.

Which way western man? (im stuck between 3 and 4)