Young Love

Updated

One unexpected thing that I underappreciate learning in college is about the human condition. I have learned so many things about myself, born as a human being and having to live with all the messiness that entails, and about how other people experience life. My education about other people is through the relatively lossy medium of talking face to face, but it is amazing nonetheless. You learn about how the daemons that run in people’s minds are different and similar to your own. You learn about how different the goals that everyone is striving towards are, the everyday worries that run through their minds, their natural inclinations towards being in certain ways, representative of their uniqueness. Could I have learned these things being not in college? Not really, there’s truly no other crazy time to just throw together a bunch of young adults who are in the process of learning about themselves and how they want to present themselves and interact with other people, how to integrate themselves into societal structures, what ideas to believe in, what values to subscribe to, what cultures to stand by and learn to replicate, etc.

What inspired me to write this was seeing a guy friend being completely heartbroken by his girlfriend, then being comforted by the girlies. I’m not that close to him, and as a man who’s never dated a girl longer than a single date (🥲) I’m pretty sure this puppy love has gots to be reined in. Not his first rodeo either. I can’t imagine what it is like to be infatuated with a person to this degree. The bandaid has been ripped off, and I think ultimately the two young lovers will be fine in a couple months, the whole process is an emotional roller coaster in which some moments can subjectively feel like an entire lifetime. And unforunately the moments that feel like that, that feel forever, are the worst ones. The highs are always fleeting and too short. When you’re in that valley of pain and suffering, it feels like you will feel this pain in your soul forever, you’ll lose sleep for days on end and only exacerbate the problem. Either you free yourself at some point (extremely hard) or you find some friends to help you see the light at the end of the tunnel one way or another (still hard but slightly easier). Godspeed, soldier — may you find peace in your heart and the strength to love (someone else) once again. No more simping for the person that hurt you over time and then finally broke you. Simp for someone who will equally simp for you too.

Anyways, on the topic of romantic love…one may come away with the idea that relationships of this nature is not worth it by seeing not just once, but multiple times people they know be hurt more than they were happy in their romantic/sexual relationships or experience the pain themselves. I wouldn’t blame them at all for feeling this way. Heck, I’ve never set my own feet inside the arena and tried my own hand. I’m a spectator. However, there is something beautiful and compelling to be that annoying bastard who brings up adverbs/quotes:

‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all — Alfred Lord Tennyson

Never forget about the good times that brought you lovers together. The joy, happiness, security, serenity, fiery passion, whatever it was that enabled the existence of the communion. Every good cup of coffee runs dry eventually, and so every good relationship comes to an end, whether it be through a parting of ways to walk through life separately or through death.

Love deeply; if not for yourself, for me, a selfish man who wants to see the human potential blossom.

Update 07/12/2024

I forgot to update on this situation. The guy shat all over our toilet and didn’t clean up, the girl broke up with him, and he stopped hanging out with us. Now he preys on freshmen girls. Goddamn brah, why are people like this.

I don’t believe in universal kharma, but I hope we all get what we deserve.