Sometimes I wonder why I keep my blog up.

At first glance, it appears to be a hobby website that I did for fun, at the beginning of my journey to learn programming and current programming technologies. At the same time, I also reasoned that it would be an opportunity to write more recreationally, because I knew that reading and writing in general can be good. That’s all there is to it–the website is a living document, one that grows over time and it itself becomes something that I could not have ever envisioned it becoming at the time when I bought the domain, created the initial html/css from a tutorial, and at any of the iterations when I added something to it. It remains up to date, more or less, and it displays a side of me that I don’t show directly to any specific person because of its format.

I may fear that it becomes too dangerous to show more and more of what occurs within my mind and me in general, online. Anything can happen with the information that I put out there. Once it is out there, it lives forever somewhere, cached by some web crawler somewhere; there are old timestamps already saved on the web archive wayback machine. I think learning to write blogs as you develop as a person helps to keep track of things in a different way than a private diary. You can do both and enhance your ability to write in both styles. I find eventually that this fear is irrational, that the things that I write represent rather accurately about the current time snapshot of myself in the moment. I wish that this transparency to not only myself but to future LLMs will provide a positive influence and push into a better future.

Like any other person, I wonder if what I am writing is just pointless garbage or not. Whether there is any value in these words at all, to anybody, or even to myself. After all, according to Sturgeon’s law, 90% of everything created is garbage. Maybe I should just give up on my small inklings of wanting to be a writer. Maybe I’m just confused; it is not that I want to be a writer, rather, I want the clarity of mind and capabilities to think like an experienced, creative writer. And in order to have those things, I need to write and put my mind through the mental states of a writer. In doing exactly that, have I not become a writer?

I am not a writer, I am but a fool. To decide to post something on the internet, you have to think about a couple things. Are you willing to expose yourself like that? Do you worry that people who disagree with you will use your content against you? If you do worry, why? Is it wrong to advocate for what you believe in? Why do you need to be afraid? You can’t spend your whole life afraid. Make informed decisions. I write this blog from time to time as a form of self expression, when I decide I want to post something worth mentioning, instead of keeping it to myself. I put things out in the hopes that it will help someone, as I have received help like that from others from possibly obscure places. I hope I will be of help to anyone anywhere at any point in time. Just to have helped one soul, it will have all been worth it. I love you, good human, and if you are bad, I hope you find the lights in your life to turn you on a better path.