I think I’ve always liked to try to “get ahead of myself” — to accelerate when I know that I can’t really handle it. Nowadays, I think about this problem of mine in relation to information consumption. Trying to learn so many things, as fast as I can. I can feel that there are so many foundational ideas, concepts that I haven’t mastered, but that I’ve barely touched and think I can just move on ahead to the next thing. I know I’m not ready, but I don’t care.

Should I just give up? I think the answer has to be no, right? I’m turning 21 soon, and I sometimes feel like I need more answers and that I’m not ready, but the pursuit itself is killing me and maybe I should. The doubts have continually subsided, to some degree, and have become replaced with different ones. I’ll just posit that I believe all of these thoughts are absolutely useless. Just go. Learn and iterate on yourself, become better. Make stupid fuck ups, and learn. Go. AWOO